How To Cure a Hangover

Poor Jan. She fell for Marcia's bait last night and went out for "girls night."

Who does that anymore?

Most of the girls we know would rather be tucked warmly into their beds reading the latest issue of US Weekly with "Project Runway" playing in the background

But Marcia is hard to resist.

So...Jan called a sitter for Penny and went out for Margarita Madness with Marcia and her fan club.

Of course, Jan forgot two key points:

-Marcia and all of her friends have Nannys

-Marcia only has one drink. Two tops.

Jan hadn't been out in ages. And something about that first taste of Tequila made her feel like...well, feel like...MARCIA

All eyes were on her. Hanging on her every word. She was the star of the show. For once. For f-n once.

Or maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe.

Been there, done that.

Well, we can't cure a social hangover but we can tell you how to get your shaky ass out of bed for carpool line:

Charcoal pills

Recommended by a Military brat's momma that we know and love. She, like Marcia, never took responsibility for drinking too much. On the rare occasions that she imbibed. She would simply say:

"I was over served."

Yes, blame it on others. This is America, after all.

Charcoal pills are available at your local GNC (you have to ask for them). Or online.

Greg is a doctor and told us that EMTs use these for overdoses.

We believe it. Because if you take, like, eight of these, you will feel MUCH better. Right away.

We aren't doctors and if you die from this, it's not our fault, but here's the online "science:"

Activated charcoal is used to treat overdoses and poisonings. In a hospital, the ER staff will have the patient drink about 12 ounces of activated charcoal. This charcoal will keep the stomach and intestines from absorbing the pills or poison. The all-natural carbon molecules attach to the impurities (congeners) from the liquor, beer, or wine before they get into your system. It's the congeners that cause hangovers, not the alcohol."

Whatever. Just listen to the Colonel's wife already. It works for us. After 25 years of heavy drinking, WE know. And we would buy a bulk pack of these at Costco if we could.

Follow the instructions on the package and slug down a few of these with water before bed. Or the next day (it's never too late to try). Before you know it, you'll be ready for your morning Bloody Mary. You'll be ready to face anything.

Even Marcia.

P.S. Poop will be blackish. Fear not. This too shall pass.